I have started a number of posts over the last few months and non of them were good enough for publishing. I think there are a number of reasons for that but it fundamentally boils down to a dilemma that I am facing when writing in this blog now. On the one hand, I don't want to get too personal here. But, on the other hand, this was one of the main reasons I started this blog; to have a place where I can write about whatever pleases me ( yes, including personal matters if I chose to). I can't do that anymore. It is so easy to find out who I am and what I do; that now, I just have to go through so much anguish trying to think of everyone who might read this and anyone who might get offended by it. This blog could end up being very detrimental to me and my career in the future. So, I thought of closing down this blog... I thought, maybe I should just stop blogging, possibly start twittering instead. Maybe get me a facebook account and flickr account too. Start poking people and taking pictures of ... stuff. But then I thought, "Naah...". And so I will probably continue doing what I already have been doing for years now. Blogging and emailing. Because if I don't, who else will?
So if the previous paragraph is a testament to anything; its that I really don't know what to blog about anymore. I have, what I'd like to call, 'Blogger's block' which is kind of like a writer's block except its for bloggers ... i.e. I don't know what to write about to be honest. I don't want to use this blog to give you lectures about what I think is wrong in this world or what I think people should do to be morally upright and happy. In other words, I don't wanna be no Oprah (not that I watch her show at all. Its just, sometimes, as I am surfing through the TV channels, I happen to come across her show that comes on every Sun-Wed at 2pm on MBC4. And when I come across her show, I, by sheer coincidence, drop the remote on the floor and find myself too lazy to extend my arms a few centi-meters to pick it up again and change the channel. So I am kind of forced to watch Oprah... every Sun-Wed at 2pm... on MBC4... forced...).
I also don't want this blog to be a diary of what goes on in my real life, at least not 'everything' that goes on in my life. I just write what I think is interesting and worthy of sharing with you all. So that is what I am going to do. I don't promise any time-line or schedule for posting (as I have tried that and failed). But I will make sure every post I publish counts (that I guarantee).
With that being said. I think I gotta mention this very weird incident I had on the plane taking me from Rome to London (over this summer holiday). It was a British Airways plane, and seriously, the word plane needs to have such a wide and flexible meaning if it were to describe that piece of machinery that I was on... it looked like the wings were held up by duct-tape! The propellers were shaking even before we took off! The fact that I am alive is beyond me.
But that's not what I really wanted to mention... I was sitting on the window isle (which gave me a fantastic view of the shaking propeller and duct-tape wings holding it together) and there were two empty seats next to me. I was getting comfortable and quite nervous at the site I was witnessing out of my window view so I took out my book which I was reading prior to getting on that "plane" and started reading where I left off. The book was called 'Happier' (see my book shelf on the sidebar of my blog). Anyway, this young Italian fella came and sat on the empty seat next to me. And next to him, an Italian girl who accompanied him on to the "plane" sat in the last empty seat. The plane took off (thank god) and I just delved into my book to distract me from the shaking wings and propellers.
The book was really interesting. It was written by a Harvard professor called Tal Ben-Shahar and it's very academic in nature. There is non of that '12 steps to eternal happiness' nonsense. It is very much a rationale discussion based on the positive psychology movement and its very clear in the flow of ideas its written in. But what's even more interesting was what happened on the plane while I was reading it.
Here I was really deep in thought reading a paragraph about how to become generally happier this year than the year before bla bla and as I was reading that, I saw, through my peripheral vision, the Italian girl extending her arms and touching the guy sitting next to me on his arms first. Then moved to ... well, touch other areas of his body until she landed on his... "stuff"... and I am trying to read this paragraph on how to be happier bla bla but I could not concentrate because that girl was touching that guy's you know what and kind of ... playing with ...the "stuff"! So I tried to move the book and read it in a position where it would block my peripheral vision from seeing this debauchery that is happening in the seat right next to me but I couldn't because the seats were really tight-spaced.
I got a little angry at how rude they were but my mood suddenly changed. It dawned on me right then; how absurdly ironic that moment was. There I was, reading a book about happiness and this guy sitting next to me was simply getting "happy" without lifting a finger. I laughed at myself. Closed my book and with it my eyes. Then dreamt of a happier place where life wasn't constantly and metaphorically slapping me on the face.